Had a good day.. Managed to get a few important things done this morning and now chilling out watching movies and talking to my baby..
Last night he tried to convince me that he will have me eating rabbit in a year hahaha it will never happen but bless him for trying huh lol.. Have started preperations to go to America.. got my passport application form a few days ago and made a few enquiries today.. kinda scared about it u know... Ive always been afraid of flying but the thought of being with Tony outweighs any fear I have about planes.. I know its the right thing to do cus ive never wanted anything so badly and im gonna go with my instinct.. My children are fully behind me which is great but doesnt stop me being worried about leaving them.. They are adults and all have their own lives but we never stop being a parent.. right?.. Im so looking forward to a new start in life that I kinda feel selfish to be taking something for myself.. My mother would kick my ass if she read that.. shes always telling me to stop putting everyone before myself.. BUT.. I still worry nonetheless.. The minute I got everything in place here im gonna go.. He worries about me giving up my country and keeps telling me its not as pretty there as here lol..And yes, where I live is beautiful.. But tbh I wouldnt care where we lived as long as we could be together.. You dont need fancy shit to be happy.. actually u dont need much at all.. I wish hed realise that it doesnt matter to me if he put on weight or if his eyes look like they been in a fight when he gets tired or even that he doesnt live in a fancy big house.. none of it matters except his heart.. and ive seen that.. and its perfect to me...HE'S perfect to me and theres not a soul alive that can convince me any different, I will always remain faithful to him.. he has my heart..now and always :)

Woke up with a renewed sense of determination today.. I know what I want and where I want to be :D

Just me....
Im nothing special, no great beauty no rocket scientist just me.
I grew up in a small Welsh community.. We didn have much and childhood was difficult but what I do have costs nothing.. Honesty,Loyalty and such a good heart.. My good qualities lol.. my not so good ones are stubborness and insecurity.. I think the latter being cus ive never had it.. My poor Tony has such big shoes to fill lol.. I have some baggage mainly carried from my childhood and through my teens.. Life was mainly unbareable and you carry that shit with you and as much as you try to forget or supress it all it really never leaves you..I put a brave face on to the outside world but in here hidden in my own little blog I can be myself and express what I want to say without fear of upsetting anyone.
My life has mainly sucked,hence the reason I started writing in the first place.. I have so much to give and not enough time to give it all.. I wish I could turn back the hands of time but I cant so instead im trying to live my life to the best of my ability.. Im so in love that it hurts.. For the first time in my entire life I feel what true love is and ive never even met him, yet I know I want to be with him for the rest of my life... I get so frustrated with it all and so impatient.. time is ticking away and I hate that its being wasted while we sit in different countries.. My life can never be just simple always shrewn with obstacles .. God gives us shit to deal with cus it makes us who we are.. I prayed tonight for the first time in a while and asked God... Please God for once in my miserable existence let me keep Tony.. Let me live long enough to be with the man I love..you've had your foot in my ass so long that your gonna find it hard to break the habit but please atleast try and guide me.. thats all I ask for.. afterall happiness is free... right?.. :D